Queen Bee

My Grandma Joan passed away on the first day of summer, June 21, 2013. It was unexpected and here I sit, 6 weeks later, still without an official cause of death. Sadly, I got the news on the phone from Ben while I was away at Girls Camp but held it together enough to finish up my responsibilities before crying the whole way home. All four of us loved Grandma Joan and had many happy memories with her, so when time came to make flight arrangements for the funeral, we knew all four of us should go. I was home about 36 hours, long enough to shower off the camping dirt before boarding a plane to Salt Lake City.

Once inside my grandparents home I really started to feel the sadness of her absence. It felt like she was going to come into the room at any moment, but of course never did. My Grandpa Neal seemed somber and lonely and truthfully I wouldn't blame him if he joined her in heaven soon.

The viewing was difficult but lovely. Ben and my girls decided not to come since Isabelle was a little unsure of the whole thing but my grandma looked pretty and I was glad to see her in peace, dressed in white, and free of pain or sorrow. She was surrounded by beautiful flowers and loved ones and would have been so pleased.

The following morning was the funeral and I am just glad we made it through. My mom and Gloria placed her veil on her head before they shut the casket and we all said our last goodbyes. Isabelle and Olivia were able to see her one more time and both did well and felt happy knowing she was now with her own mom and daughter Suzy. All of my mom's siblings gave sweet tributes and all of us grandchildren sang I am a Child of God. It was emotional and painful but happy and wonderful too. After she was delivered to her final resting place in Salem, the tears didn't stop but they often turned to tears of joy as well.

My Grandma Joan was at every milestone of my short life thus far. I remember sleeping at her house as a little child and playing on her back lawn for hours. She travelled to Ohio many times to attend basketball games and school events and my High School Graduation. She made me many meals while I was in College and met me for shopping and lunch dates often. She was one of the first to meet Ben and always had nice things to say about him. She bought me my temple clothes and was one of my only family members in the temple with me the day I became Mrs. Cosby. Although getting older, she made the trek to San Antonio when my girls were born and handmade their blankets, booties, hats, etc. The last several years we had made it a tradition to visit her the week of her birthday and to celebrate at Salem Days with the girls. They will always have happy memories of walking in the Fun Run with Grandma and eating at the pancake breakfast. To say that Grandma Joan was not a big part of my life would be an error. My life will be changed forever because of her example to me and all that she gave and taught us. It will also be changed with her absent from the special moments in me and my children's lives going forward. I am reminded how blessed we are to have eternal families and I look forward to the day when I will see my Grandma again. Long live the Queen Bee!

Quest For The Best

In February I got a call from the Stake Young Women's President whom called me to be a Stake Camp Leader. And not just that, the 4th Year High Adventure Leader. WHAT? I am the worst camper in Texas. And High Adventure? I told her that I was clueless and would need A LOT of direction, but she assured me I was the right person for the job. After talking to Ben, we decided she was the only one who felt confident. Before I knew it school was out for the summer and it was time for Girls Camp. I spent weeks prepping, attending meetings, making assignments and stressing but ready or not, it was time to camp.

I enlisted Ben's help for the High Adventure activity and long before the sun came up we took off with 19 Young Women ages 14-15 from the Stake for Silsbee, TX to canoe and camp. I had no idea what I was doing but somehow I pulled it off. We canoed about 3.5 miles on a paddling trail and then set up camp at Lake Houston for the night. We cooked dinner over a fire, shot bow and arrows, had a water balloon fight, survived with only a port-a-potty, practiced a song we would sing for the Stake President and learned first-aid. (Yes, I was the first aid instructor. See! What?)

36 hours later it was finally time to put the High Adventure behind us and we travelled the short distance to Camp Holy Wild where we were met by the rest of the YW campers from the Stake. What a relief I felt once we were in other chaperone's grasp and what an accomplishment as well.

The next several days I spent my time passing off certifications, singing songs, hiking, swimming, doing skits, reading scriptures and having a fun enough time with the other Stake leaders and Young Women. Several times I thought about my girls at home with their dad and which girls I hoped they would be like when they were the ripe old age of 12. I am not gonna lie, I was glad when the week was over and I was finally able to return home and take a nice warm shower alone, but I tried to be the type of leader I hope my girls will have someday and the love-notes I received after from some of the Young Women make me believe I did an OK job.

NUK

Where did our baby go? We have held on as long as we could but little Livi is growing up. One of the last baby things we had yet to face was the NUK. Both my girls loved their nuks and Ben and I admit to being fans also. Olivia was down to keeping her nuk only in her bed and we knew when she turned the big 3 that we needed to call it quits, but we hated to. She loved to go to bed at night and still took a nap in the day, all because she wanted to get in her bed and suck that silly nuk. We knew things would change once we said goodbye.

Finally Ben and I got the courage to bite the bullet and quit the nuk habit once and for all. Livi being quite rational and agreeable understood it was time to say goodbye. She had one last drag and then lined every nuk up she could find in a special spot in her room she chose and then waited for the Nuk Fairy. Before she knew it, the fairy had visited and took every last nuk with her and left a new pair of PJs and a CD Player with a classical music CD for bedtime in their place. (Belle still goes to sleep to the sounds of Bach and Mozart 4 years later.)

When bedtime came there were tears and tears and tears. She was sad she had given those nuks away and begged for the fairy to return them. Sadly, she eventually cried herself to sleep and we have never looked back. She still asks for her nuk from time to time but mostly has made the transition gracefully. The saddest day of my parenting life may have been when with tears streaming down her cheeks she told me she had been trying to shrink back down but couldn't do it. Sweet girl. We wish we could shrink you back down, but for different reasons, as well.

School's out for the summer!

1st Grade came to a screaming halt the first week of June after months of busyness. Isabelle had such a great teacher, Mrs Cordera, whom we all loved and appreciated. She was the perfect mix of fun and serious and was nurturing and loving naturally but was stern when it was needed. We road bikes or drove/walked to school everyday of the year and Livi was always thrilled when it was time to go pick up Belle. All three of us spent a good portion of our time inside the school walls each week and I would say Livi was partially potty trained in the teacher's workroom.

Isabelle continues to be blessed with good friends at school. She is still BFF with Emily and added a new boyfriend/neighbor/church mate named Henry this year. She and Henry were both in Mrs Cordera's class and much to their delight were paired together for Field Day.

Isabelle received a very special award the last week of school, chosen as the Star Citizen of the semester excelling in the values of Patience and Friendship. We attended a special award ceremony where the Counselor read a letter written about Isabelle from the first grade teachers and we were not surprised that Jelly would be the one chosen for such a moment. She is such a sweet friend to all the girls and boys in the 1st grade and especially took time to friend a non-English speaking little girl who was struggling to fit in. Ben and I tried to make a big deal of this award and made sure to tell Belle that no other accomplishment in school or sports could top being a friend to others.

It's hard to believe that our once brand new Kindergartner is now ready for 2nd grade and thriving both inside and outside of the home. We are going to pray that our summer break ticks by VERY SLOWLY so we can enjoy our little girls being home and lazy once again. Either way, one thing is for sure, Belle's second grade teacher and class have BIG shoes to fill!

Missing

Isabelle has been so anxious to lose her first tooth. Kids started losing teeth in Kindergarten and by the end of 1st grade she had friends with a whole mouth full of permanent teeth. Jelly on the other hand, had all of her cute tiny baby teeth still in place...until the last week of 1st grade! It was a bit exhausting, painful and exciting for all of us but finally that miniature tooth popped right out in my hand when I was given permission to blot it with a tissue. Isabelle was so proud to go to school (with just 3 days left) and finally put her name on the Missing Tooth Chart and loved putting her tooth under her pillow for the fairy. Ben and I on the other hand, were sad to see that first tooth go and still are getting used to her more
grown up smile. Sigh.

May May May

May came and went just as fast as the previous months but we managed to have some fun along the way. Isabelle played her first solo in her Spring piano recital with a 3rd grade boy and her wonderful 1st grade school teacher surprised her and her friend Abby by coming and bringing a treat. She was a fabulous teacher and Belle was lucky to be in her school class. We spent several days outside in May, playing, jumping, swinging and just enjoying the not quite yet summer heat and the girls especially loved when Grammie Glo was in town to jump for the afternoon. With school winding down and lots of end of year celebrations mixed with dance and piano recitals, Mothers Day, Grammie's 60th birthday, Memorial Day and so on, we were busy from sun up till sun down. May is now a distant memory so thank goodness I occasionally pulled out my phone and snapped a shot of our days.