Queen Bee

My Grandma Joan passed away on the first day of summer, June 21, 2013. It was unexpected and here I sit, 6 weeks later, still without an official cause of death. Sadly, I got the news on the phone from Ben while I was away at Girls Camp but held it together enough to finish up my responsibilities before crying the whole way home. All four of us loved Grandma Joan and had many happy memories with her, so when time came to make flight arrangements for the funeral, we knew all four of us should go. I was home about 36 hours, long enough to shower off the camping dirt before boarding a plane to Salt Lake City.

Once inside my grandparents home I really started to feel the sadness of her absence. It felt like she was going to come into the room at any moment, but of course never did. My Grandpa Neal seemed somber and lonely and truthfully I wouldn't blame him if he joined her in heaven soon.

The viewing was difficult but lovely. Ben and my girls decided not to come since Isabelle was a little unsure of the whole thing but my grandma looked pretty and I was glad to see her in peace, dressed in white, and free of pain or sorrow. She was surrounded by beautiful flowers and loved ones and would have been so pleased.

The following morning was the funeral and I am just glad we made it through. My mom and Gloria placed her veil on her head before they shut the casket and we all said our last goodbyes. Isabelle and Olivia were able to see her one more time and both did well and felt happy knowing she was now with her own mom and daughter Suzy. All of my mom's siblings gave sweet tributes and all of us grandchildren sang I am a Child of God. It was emotional and painful but happy and wonderful too. After she was delivered to her final resting place in Salem, the tears didn't stop but they often turned to tears of joy as well.

My Grandma Joan was at every milestone of my short life thus far. I remember sleeping at her house as a little child and playing on her back lawn for hours. She travelled to Ohio many times to attend basketball games and school events and my High School Graduation. She made me many meals while I was in College and met me for shopping and lunch dates often. She was one of the first to meet Ben and always had nice things to say about him. She bought me my temple clothes and was one of my only family members in the temple with me the day I became Mrs. Cosby. Although getting older, she made the trek to San Antonio when my girls were born and handmade their blankets, booties, hats, etc. The last several years we had made it a tradition to visit her the week of her birthday and to celebrate at Salem Days with the girls. They will always have happy memories of walking in the Fun Run with Grandma and eating at the pancake breakfast. To say that Grandma Joan was not a big part of my life would be an error. My life will be changed forever because of her example to me and all that she gave and taught us. It will also be changed with her absent from the special moments in me and my children's lives going forward. I am reminded how blessed we are to have eternal families and I look forward to the day when I will see my Grandma again. Long live the Queen Bee!